Jehovah Jireh

Jehovah Jireh, "The LORD will provide". It is a promise and a name of God given by Abraham when God provided the ram to be sacrificed in place of Isaac. This provision was given after a risky act of obedience and faith. God was wanting to prove to me that He is Jehovah Jireh. I have never been without provision, I have always had my needs met. I have always worked and saved and had parents who help provide for me when I can't. I have never been able to see how God provides for me without MY own toil (aside from when a check for $10,000 showed up for a new car after mine died).

God gave me very crystal clear direction and confirmation to take a course called Foundations for Counseling Ministries (FCM). I needed an estimated $6,512 for this school by April 4th; but was only able to save $127 out of my monthly support. In February, my monthly expenses grew by a couple hundred dollars and I also had unexpected one time expenses come up. This forced me to rearrange my budget and not be able to save another penny toward this course or any future outreaches. I felt God then say that He wanted to prove to me that HE can and will provide without me toiling, striving, or stressing. The past two months, God has been speaking a lot to me about His provision and I have been doing my best to put my hope, trust, and faith in God. I have seen Him provide miraculously for others but a part of me doubted if that would really be the case for me. 

Tuesday March 26th, I began the day with a good quite time. I genuinely put my trust in God for provision knowing that it didn't matter what I did to support raise for this trip, it was GOD who would provide. However, needing this money within a week, I felt the obligation to begin writing support letters. Before I opened the "Word" application on my computer I got a text from a supporter asking how much money I still needed for my course. I replied I was only able to save $127 and I hadn't gotten any responses yet from my newsletter concerning funds. They then told me, "We trade in the stock market, and this week, any profit we make, we will pledge to you". I have heard their tales before when they pledge a day or a week of earnings to a missionary or mission cause, God always opens up the store houses and they make profits up to $10,000 in a single day. (When they are trading just for their own profit, they don't usually make this type of money). So, this was exciting news already. Then this supporter told me, "You are already up to $3,000 from yesterday".  EVEN BETTER NEWS! I was really praising God now, and really excited to see what the week held. 

Usually, when this person commits a week to a mission/missionary, they are striving very hard and studying charts, reading articles about companies and corporations, and on the phone all day with thier stock broker getting advice. This time, they were going on vacation, it is a shorter work week in the stock market, and they decided they were not going to TRY to make a lot of money, just see what happened. So, as they went on vacation they told their trusted stock broker that he had full control to buy and sell for him and just let him know the results at the end of the day. 

Wednesday March 27th, the total was up to $5,100. 

*On another note: This same day, our Discipleship Training School needed about $27,000 and within 15 min of intercession that total was brought down to about $8,500. 

Thursday, March 28th was the last day of trading for the week (since Friday is Good Friday).

My estimated expenses are: 

Lecture Phase $1,867 

Outreach Ground fees: $1,300

Estimated Airfare: $2,500 (subject to fluctuate)

Administrative fee of 3%: $195

Tithe of 10%: $650

Total: $6,512

The Total amount earned and pledged this week by this supporter was a total of $6,500. 

God has also provided through unusual ways to pay for my taxes and insurance that are both due soon, another $847. 

Truth to be learned:

When God wants you to do something and you risk in faith and obedience, He is JEHOVAH JIREH just as he was for Abraham. He has provided for my needs before I ever asked anybody besides God or even knew my needs. I did not have to strive, stress, or worry. God knew and God had it under control. Nothing is impossible for God. The need was great, but the provider is greater. 

I still need quite a bit more in monthly support. God provides, but I have to crunch in my monthly budget. If you would like to be a monthly supporter, there is still the need and opportunity to partner with me financially and be a part of what God is doing in me and through me.

A life marked by unjust mercy

God really is a mystery. There is so much depth and complexity about His being that baffles me. One thing that I don't understand is His justice. In my mind, justice is getting what you deserve whether reward or punishment. Justice is what is right, what is lawful, what is righteous. We live in a reward and punishment society; a society that fights to uphold justice. The word says that God is "just"; however, I have seen a lot of injustice from God in my life. Now, before you gasp and shout out "HERESY!" Hear me out. My life is marked by injustice because my life is marked by God's mercy. My life flashed before my eyes the other day with the scenario of "what if God had not shown His mercy in that situation"? In a matter of 5 seconds, God took me to memories from recent to childhood. There were many memories but major ones are as follows:

In 2009 I didn't believe in God anymore and became extremely suicidal and 3 demons were my constant companions. I lived in a constant state of anxiety and panic attack. God showed His mercy, His love, and His pursuit on me that I could not escape. He divinely placed people in my life to reach out to me and keep me afloat. "WHAT IF He hadn't shown His mercy?" I would most definitely not be alive to type this blog post, that is for certain.

In 2007 I had acted as a spiritual prostitute and turned my back on God. I deserved His wrath, His anger, the consequences for my unfaithfulness and I new it. I waited day and night to be struck dead by God out of His wrath. But it never came after 2 years of waiting. The truth is, I DID deserve it but God was merciful. "WHAT IF He hadn't shown His mercy?" I would have been judged as I deserved according to my unforgivable sins.

In 2006 I was involved in a cult and was completely and horribly brain washed. God rescued me from being abducted and kidnapped to be married (at age 16) to a 23 year old man. The plan was in the making and it was only a matter of weeks that it would be solidified and carried out. God rescued me in the nick of time. He also saved me from being rape from multiple men. "WHAT IF He hadn't shown His mercy?" I would be ruined, ostracized from my family (by the cult). I would be so lost from God and be rooted and in a lasting covenant with the cult. I most likely would have never seen freedom from them.

In 2004 I was in deep depression looking for a reason to not commit suicide. God showed His mercy by giving me an encounter with His love. "Had he not shown mercy on me?" If I hadn't killed myself, I would be living a life of pain and letting that pain out in very unhealthy ways.

In my child hood, when I was about 7 God protected me from being raped by a man while I was in a city park without adult supervision. "WHAT IF God had not shown His mercy?" I would have a lot more issues to work through than I have now.

The thing is, I don't deserve any of these acts of mercy. In reality, I should not be worthy of God's mercy and love. I have been forgiven, I have been protected, I have been pursued by unrelenting love. God is slow to be angry, He is quick to forgive, He does not always chide, He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. My life is marked by this. God has not given to me what I should deserve. He has looked upon me and for some reason that is beyond me deemed me worthy of His love and His mercy. Granted, I have been dealt some nasty cards (that are not even mentioned here); I have been broken by life's experiences but God's mercy has not failed me now, but is continuing to be poured out on me and in my life. This is not what I deserve. This is why I say, my life is marked by injustice from God; but and injustice of mercy.

Look at your life. Through out the pessimistic perspective for a moment. Through out your feeling of entitlement to His love and mercy. How has God shown His mercy to you through out your life? I guarantee it, your life is like mine, marked by the unjust mercy and love of the Lord God.

Foundations for Counseling Ministries

As a continuation from my newsletter, here is more information on Foundations for Counseling Ministry School (FCM)-- the training course I am taking next quarter:

The Foundations for Counseling Ministry school helps the student to discover God's original identity for them, and equips them with tools for counseling wounded lives and communities throughout the world. Bringing about the healing touch of Christ.

People of all cultures around the world have experienced the pain that comes with broken relationships. Our challenge and our privilege as Christians is to proclaim the power of the Gospel in mending broken hearts.

Do you want to help people be restored to wholeness? Are you called to mend hearts for God? You can find your place in taking His healing to the nations. Come and discover the foundational truths that shape our ability to relate to God, ourselves and those around us. You will learn basic skills in helping others move towards wholeness.

Two Phases

Foundations in Counseling Ministry is designed as a six month training program with two distinct phases.

Phase one is a three-month classroom segment which utilizes lectures, discussions, workshops, small group interactions and personal study. The close community of students and staff provides an environment where the application of Biblical counseling skills can be worked out. Students benefit from the expertise of resource lecturers and guest faculty from different counseling ministries. Lecture topics include: identity, Active Listening, Renewing the mind, The Divine Plumbline, Inner Healing Prayer, Sexuality/Abuse, Trauma, Grief, Teaching and Ministry Development, and Personality Profiles. 

Phase two is the field assignment. This provides a practical experience where the knowledge, skills and character qualities of a Biblical counselor learned in the lecture phase are put into practice in a mission field setting. Students will find enriching cross-cultural opportunities and challenging experiences of working on a team at one of the ministry locations around the world.

DATE: APRIL 4TH- AUGUST 29TH

COST: $1,867

Jan-March: Kids Ministry

For this winter quarter, I have been working full time in our preschool at YWAM. Preschool, although exhausting, has been enjoyable. For one, preschooler's perspective on life is just so entertaining to observe and they are so fun to interact with. Second, I have loved the opportunity to be involved with kids ministry and to have voice into the lives of these future world changers.

Here are some pictures and an idea of what we do in preschool:

In "Circle Time" the kids are taught from our ciriculm. Each week is a theme or a new lesson. We teach them a truth from a bible story, how to apply it to their life, and then have a time of prayer. We then teach something each week in a "creation" and life section. Example: Camels, Deserts, growth stages infant to adult, community, fish etc.

For a large portion of the day, they get "free choice time" based on the Montasori method of learning. They can choose from centers including, launguage arts, sensory, practical life, and art. The kids think they are playing but little do they know, they are learning. 

In the other room, we have dramatic play, and science, nature, and geography centers. This room usually just looks like a mess to me, but they learn socially here too. 

Painting and making play dough are one of the favorite and fought over activities

 Every other Monday, we go on a field trip or have a special activity. Before Valentine's day, we had an outreach to a nursing home to pass out their hand made valentines and bless the residents. We then came back to campus and blessed all the people we could find in offices, class rooms, or hallways.

Denver Aquarium was one of the favorite and most exciting field trips (for me anyway). We successfully made it there and back with all these kiddos even though it was a very very crowded day at the aquarium. 

Recess/outside play is a favorite time for all of us until we realize snow is cold (especially when you don't have gloves or get in the face with a snowball). For a little bit though, there is bliss all around as the kids throw snowballs and make snow angels. 

 Every other week, we have a nation presented by somebody from our community. The kids learn about life and culture in other nations as well as their needs. The children then pray for those nations. 

Fall Quarter has begun

WITH THE BOYS
One of my roles for this quarter is to care for three boys while their parents are in class taking a training course on strategic missions and community development. Now, don't think we are just playing all day long (although we do have plenty of fun and go on field trips). I am with them a minimum of 20 hours a week and we spend most of our time working on home school, which is quite the challenge sometimes. The past few weeks, I have been blessed to see how this simple role has been such a blessing to so many people. A few days ago, their mother told me, with tears in her eyes, how thankful she is that God answered her prayers by having me fill this role. It was her greatest worry and fear of what would happen to her boys when they came for this 3 month lecture phase, but I was an answer to her prayers in every way, great and small. I have also had so many daily discipling opportunities with the boys and get to share about God and pray with them (as this transition has been

rough for them). I am learning to not underestimate the implications of serving in any job or role. Everything plays into the bigger picture of the vision of our campus, to reach the least reach and disciple the nations.

PRAYER REQUESTS
1.  For the month of October, I will be working intensely at preparing for a support raising trip which I plan to go on at the end of the month or the beginning of November. I have never support raised like this before and need to raise $325 to $525 more of monthly support. Pray for encouragement, faith and hope as I do this. Pray for wisdom and creativity. Pray for open schedules so I can make appointments with people. Pray that I can get all the logistics of this trip planned easily and without stress.

2.  Pray also for the boys I watch, that God would help them to transition well.

3.  I am an introvert who is spending every minute of my time investing in relationships with the DTS students, in my church, back home, outside my normal circle of friends, outside church and YWAM, with the Furlong family (the boys I watch). It's pretty crazy! Pray God would help me to continue this, that he would refresh me in it and give me opportunities to continue to build relationships.


Discipleship Training School
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Another role I have is to work along side the DTS students who have come. In my free time, I am very intentional about seeking out these students and building relationships with them and discuss the teachings they have each day as well as pray with them. I am praying God uses me to build transformational relationships with these students and God would give me deeper discipling opportunities with them soon.


Alethia Church
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I have been proactive about getting involved in a local church here (Alethia is the name of my church, it means "Truth" in Greek. I have already served in Sunday school twice now and have gone to a few different life groups. My goal is to commit to two life groups to help me build relationships with individuals within the church. I seize every opportunity to get to know people and interact during and outside church times.

By Pillar of Fire and Cloud

I have arrived!

It has been SUCH an insane transition, but I am finally here on staff at YWAM
in Colorado Springs as God promised a year and a half ago.  A year and a half
ago, God gave me a picture of me blind folded and on the edge of a wilderness
valley. He asked me over and over, "will you walk through this with me?" For
some reason, I said "yes, I will wlak through anything with you Lord". It's
been such a crazy journey, but when I arrived, God spoke a word to me of how
he lead His people with a pillar of cloud and fire. I felt Him saying to me,
even though I can not see, to trust in faith, He is with me and leading me
every step of the way. Each day when I wake up, look at that pillar of cloud
and follow in faith as God leades me. I am not sure If I have arrived at the
other side, but I am still definitly divinely being lead by God.

Strategic Mission Seminar:
   This month, I have been takeing an awesome course on strategic
   missions. I have learned SO many beneficail and practical things such
   as how to think strategicly in missions, gateway people groups,
   community development, worldviews, mobilization, and servant
   leadership. Through this course, I have been equiped with principals to
   help me pioneer ministries over seas as well as be effective in
   ministry here in Colorado Springs. This course has gotten me so pumped
   about missions to the least reached as well as discipleship and
   mobilization here in Colorado.

What I will be doing:
   My heart, passion, and calling is discipileship and mobilization. I
   want to coach and mentor people in knowing who thier God is, who they
   are in Christ, and the calling God has on thier life for His kingdom. I
   am hear to help run discipleship Training Schools (DTS) which is a 6
   month course with three months lecture phase and 3 months outreace
   phase. Because this fall DTS was overstaffed before I even came on
   staff, I will be serving in other roles until I get an opportunity to
   staff a DTS full time (praying for January). In the mornings, I will be
   doing child care for families with children who will be in the schools.
   In the afternoons, I will be working along side/overseeing the DTS
   students in thier work duties. I plan on spending every minute I can
   invest in these students (who arrive Sept 13th) to build relationships
   with them and mentor them any way I can. In addition to my actual jobs,
   I am being proactive about getting connected in a local church body. I
   am working on getting plugged into serving in Sunday school and
   attending small groups. I also would like to begin more local
   outreaches in the cities, thier are endless opportunites for this.

Praise Report:

   I will be very intentional in raising financial support this month.
   Pray God would release the finances so I can be effective in ministry
   and nto be restrained because of lack of funds. Pray for monthly
   financial supporters and grace as I do this, (it's not an easy task).

God has blown me away with His provision for my room mate and I. We both came with only personal belongings and bedding. With only about $80 total, we were able to aquire lots of furniture and make an empty room a home. (It is still in the works though). I still can not get over how good God has been to us in providing in unusual ways.



Prayer Requests:

  * Pray God gives me grace as I continue to transition and get plugged
     in this YWAM community as well as the community in my new local church.
  * Pray for the DTS students that are coming next week and the
  full-time staff. Pray I can find ways to invest in deep
  transformational relationships with the students.

  * I will be very intentional in raising financial support this month.

  Pray God would release the finances so I can be effective in ministry

  and nto be restrained because of lack of funds. Pray for monthly

  financial supporters and grace as I do this, (it's not an easy task).

Faithful to the Promise

Since May of 2010 I felt God calling me to go to Colorado Springs. I had never been to Colorado and my heart was in other places, but I could not shake to drawing call to Colorado. I ended up doing my School of Biblical Studies (SBS) in Colorado Springs as God called me to. However, God had bigger plans. It wasn't long after I arrived that I felt He was calling me on staff at the base. After praying over it for months for clarity and assurance it was what God was saying, I applied. At that point, I knew 100%, without a shadow of a doubt that God wanted me on staff. Because I was obeying what God said to do, I just expected to be accepted. (YWAM leadership team prays over each application and listens for God direction to accept/deny). It came as a COMPLETE shock when I heard I was not accepted. Well, that was my welcome invitation to a rough season of trusting God, waiting, and a whole lot of confusion. I have learned quite a bit in this awkward season I have been in the past 10 months. I have never stopped praying about what God wants me to do. Does He want me to do something else? Where should I go? What should I do? I had received many invitations from leaders begging me to come work with their ministry. Though I was flattered by the feeling of being wanted vs. the lies that I was not wanted at YWAM, I knew that was not what God was calling me to do. There was a lot of doubtful circumstances and comments by people that the enemy tried to use to pull me away from hearing God's voice calling me to Colorado. However, the past few months, have just driven me to even more assurance and knowing that I really am suppose to be on staff in Colorado Springs. I didn't understand a lot of things, but I was sure that I was suppose to go. 

Time does not quite permit me to explain in detail how God planned all of this according to his perfect timing as well as all that I have learned in this time, and how faithful God has been to His promises; But long story short, God allowed me to go to Colorado again, which encouraged me to try applying for staff again. I have just found out late last night that I HAVE BEEN ACCEPTED!!!

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN FOR ME?
I have applied to staff the Discipleship Training Schools (DTS). (Anybody who knows me well, knows how much passion I have to disciple others and probably knows how exciting this is for me). DTS is a 6 month school broken into 2 phases, lecture phase and outreach phase. In Lecture phase, we disciple adults in topics like hearing God's voice, spiritual warfare, father heart of God, evangelism ect. This builds a great biblical foundation and world view as well as brings incredible amount of healing from past struggles. It is a time that brings so much freedom in individuals. During outreach phase, students go on a 3 month mission trip to apply what they have learned and pass it on. Their eyes are awakened to missions and that new perspective never leaves them long after DTS ends. Often times, people who go through this program end up in the mission field one way or another (like me).
Although my roll will be more based out of the US, I will still have a very active roll in impacting the nations. On top of working with the DTS, I will also have other rolls on campus and will have many opportunities to serve the community. So, being on full-time staff means being in full-time missions which I am so excited to finally be after years of waiting on God for the right time. I am so overwhelmed by God's faithfulness to me.

WHAT THIS MEANS FOR YOU?
You have the opportunity to partner with me once again in prayer, encouragement, and giving. Many people assume being on staff means this is a paying job. And I have to admit, it is rather funny to see how shocked they are to find out I will actually be paying to work there as well as pay to house myself. It is still a life of reliance on God for my every need and often times sacrifice and being outside what the world would call comfortable and secure. So now, for the first time, I need to find regular monthly support. The suggested (expected) monthly support is $1000 and I am told I have to find that within the next 2 weeks! It sounds like a big challenge but I have full faith in God that He will provide and I am excited to see Him work. So, I am asking that you pray about how much God would have you generously give in supporting me as I step out in faith and obedience. Partner with me in this and lets see together the fruit that comes from this and see God work in people's lives, in the community of Colorado Springs, and in the Nations.
(You can donate by going to the "Donate" tab at the top of the blog and follow the steps. PLEASE also, email me and let me know how much you are donating and if you are planning on being a monthly supporter. I have to let YWAM know how much support I have raised because they will not allow me to come if I do not already have a minimum of $800 per month. "Modern Day" support does not come through until the end of the month so until then, I will have no idea what is coming through. ANYTHING BIG OR SMALL, REGULAR OR ONE-TIME GIFTS ARE MUCH APPRECIATED). 

MORE LOGISTICS 
I have made a minimum of a 2 year commitment, I will be working 40 hours a week just like any other person with a "real" job, I will be moving to Colorado August 5th after church. I am taking a course first (required before I can staff a school) called School of Strategic Missions (SMS). This is 4 weeks long and is a very fast pace, crash course type of seminar.
If you have any other questions (I am sure I am leaving out quite a bit), don't hesitate to ask, my contact info is under the tab "Contact Me".

A GOD OF SURPRISES -The whole story

Sometimes, God's plans are different than the plans we have in our own minds even when we think our plans are Gods. Our plans have been God's and I believe we have been where He wanted us. However, God has taken me and our whole YWAM base by surprise. It was just two and a half weeks ago that I wrote that I was at the "half-way" point, but God new my trip was over. Last Thursday, we looked at some South Sudan news online to figure out what was happening in our country because we were hearing many rumors of war, bombings, and attacks. The news was not comforting or encouraging when we found out the rumors were true, but nothing said that the war was officially declared.


On Friday, we went to DTS class at a nearby NGO and the director came to talk to Chris, Emily , and me (THE DIRECTOR IS ANOTHER WHITE PERSON BESIDES OUR SELVES, a mam named John, from The Netherlands). John told us that we should seriously consider leaving South Sudan early because the war had officially been declared. A couple other people gave us the same suggestion so we began praying about it. We did not want to just act out of fear but to trust God. We most of all, did not want to leave our students, and leave the staff (there would be only 2 remaining). So we prayed for confirmation. I was at the NGO for class at the time, and Chris and Emily were now at home. At the same time, we all prayed the same prayer. We prayed that God would give us a clear sign to confirm what we were suppose to do, "should we go, or should we stay?" As I prayed this, I was watching a UN helicopter coming to land nearby, and I was beginning to make the ten minute walk back to our house under the hot African afternoon sun. We reached the house and noticed that the helicopter had just landed and wasn't on the ground for one minute before it began ascending straight up into the sky like a hot air balloon. We watched this unusual behavior and then stepped in the house to discuss what we should do. Not even five minutes later (no more than 15 minutes after I had prayed) we heard a jet plane. Now, this also is very unusual because no commercial airlines fly over Sudan and the airport here is closed due to a plane crash (the same plane we were originally going to fly on to Wau). We all went outside to look at the jet, and a Sudanese staff member (also a man in the government) shouted, "THAT IS THE ANTENOV, THAT IS AN ENEMY PLANE! Why are they not shooting it down?!" Now, the Antonov is a bomber jet and it had just flown over our house. We considered this as our clear sign from God that we were suppose to try to leave as soon as possible.


Now, leaving as soon as possible is more challenging than it sounds. We could not fly because, as previously stated, the airport is closed. We could not make the 12 hour trip by land because it is too dangerous because of people who like to lay in ambush and rob cars and buses, Emily is six months pregnant and the road is so bumpy, it would be very dangerous and risky for mother and child (not to mention painful). There is an airport to our North, but again, even 2 hours would be hard for Emily and also going closer to where all the attacks and most bombings are. Our only option was to see if the UN would fly us in a helicopter to Juba (South Sudan's capitol). Now, the UN also will not allow ANY pregnant ladies fly. So these were just a few of the many challenges. By the grace and miraculous works of God, we got approved to fly with the UN so we planned to fly Friday.


You may remember a month ago we prayed for our renewal of visas. The man said "no problem, you feel at home here and when you are ready to leave, you just come back and we will stamp your passport and give you the right visa." This sounded good, but growing up with a mother who is obsessed with Judge Judy, I knew it is better to get that statement in writing, but we didn't. Now that we knew we were leaving, we went back to the government offices. Turns out that minister had been transferred to another state and another man (not so lenient on rules) was in office. He did not want to give is visas because they were expired. He did not want to even give us grace seeing that we were deceived by the previous man with authority. He tried to buy me from Chris as a wife in exchange for two visas for Chris and Emily (even though he was old and had a wife and kids). This failed (thankfully) and Christopher's love for me prevailed his need for visas, 2 million dollars, or 300 cows and a life time supply of ice cream at Wau Sweet. Finally, he looked at Emily and said, "You have an expired visa by one month, I DO NOT FORGIVE YOU OF THIS" he gave a long pause "However, i do forgive your prisoner" as he pointed to her belly with his pen. "because i know it would be better for that baby to be born at home and with your mommy with you, i will give you your visa." Christopher and I were relieved for Emily but wondering if he would forgive us too even though we did not have prisoners and i said i would not be the mother of his children (as he right out asked me to do). That day, after about 2 hours, Makayla Joy and God's grace saved us all from being detained and allowed us to receive our visas to leave South Sudan.


Thursday we went to the UN to see what time the UN flight was and to confirm if we were on the flight. You see, because we were approved, does not ensure we are on the flight, we still have to see if there is room on a flight. The helicopters take 20 passengers and they do not usually take non-UN workers. This means we were lowest priority, thus, we were put on standby after two other higher priority passengers. Thursday night we were so stressed out that we hardly slept (not to mention it was also too muggy). We were stressed because we knew 5 out of 20 people had to not show up for the UN to allow us to fly. We were only allowed a total of 30 pounds of luggage (both carry on and checked) and we obviously were very over weight. Also, as stated before, Emily is pregnant and they don't fly pregnant women. All of this was too much uncertainty to sleep well. At 5 am we got up to get ready and finish packing. We walked 30 min in the dark through the village with our suitcases and backpacks to the UN airport. (Not an airport you might think of, it is three storage containers all connected for the security, check-in and waiting room, and of course a dirt strip where the helicopter takes off from.) We arrived before anybody else, said good-bye to our students (not knowing if it really was good-bye or not). We counted down the minutes and people who were arriving in their fancy land cruisers. They all showed up. We walked back home (30 min) feeling and looking depressed, disappointed, and dejected. We unpacked and prepared for a few more days. Then we got a call, there was a flight at 10 and we should come back. We were excited with this glimmer of hope and rushed to re-pack. We went back and waited until ten until we found out, THERE WAS NO FLIGHT. We found out that there was originally suppose to be two flights that morning but the pilot wasn't in the mood to fly so it was canceled (which was the flight we were suppose to be on). They tried to get him to fly at ten (give him time to sleep in) but that also failed. Now we were felling really disappointed and discouraged. We were just following what God told us to do. Why was it so hard? Why were all of the doors to go home closed?
We changed our flight for Sunday and returned home and, once again, un-packed and moved back in for the second time that day.

Sunday, we had a flight at 1 pm so we were able to sleep in, and go facilitate church at the refugee camp like we had been doing the past few weeks. We packed again, said our goodbye again, an although we were sad to leave, we hoped to God this was the last time we had to do this.
Emily wore her baggiest clothes to the UN to hide Makayla so nobody but us would know she was traveling with us in Emily's belly. One man had noticed and found out about it previously on Friday, but he did not say a word about it today to hinder her from flying. We each were about 20 or more pounds over weight, they did not say a word. All of this was God. Sunday when we went it was as if all the doors were open (but we still felt like we were walking on egg shells).

I had never flown on a helicopter. Initially i thought it would be exciting, then it was described to me as utter torture. Everybody gets sick, it is turbulent and the wind pulls the helicopter all around. As you bounce with the turbulence, you are sitting on a wooden bench so your butt hurts afterwards from sitting and bouncing. They leave the doors and windows open. It is so so loud ect. So we were pretty nervous (especially sense I get sick at the first sign of turbulence). We got on the helicopter, sat on a wooden bench that ran along each side of the helicopter so that our backs were to the wall and we faced each other.


I personally did not think the ride was so so torturous as it was described to us. Granted, i would be ok if i never stepped back inside a helicopter. I enjoyed flying low at 3000 feet hanging my head out the open window taking beautiful pictures. Seeing the animals grazing in the new grass that has begun to sprout, or drinking in the Nile. I saw many huts all by their self (not a part if any village) and thought about how these people have never heard about Jesus (there are many truly unreached people here). We landed half way to Juba at another UN base and waited for about an hour for a plane. When the plane finally arrive and landed on the dirt strip, a sand storm had just began and a thunderstorm was well on its way with black clouds rolling in. This was also when we took off as the flight crew rushed to get the previous passengers and cargo off and our cargo on. It was about a 20 min turn around time from their landing to our take off. Although it is dangerous to take off with the wind, they can not take off on a muddy dirt strip so if we didn't get up in the air soon, we would have been stuck there. After 45 min, we landed in Juba (which was much greener and had a sky more blue than when we were previously there). We (and other passengers) genuinely praised Jesus for our arrival.


We stayed in Juba until Tuesday afternoon and then flew to Nairobi Kenya. We received transit visas that we thought were good for 7 days but they recently changed it to 3 days. When we arrived in Kenya, we did not yet have tickets home. We had planned to change our tickets and thought (for me) it would be simple to do it online. However, nothing on this trip home had been simple, and fate didn't seem to want to change up it's routine by allowing ticket changes to be simple. We ended up going to the airport Wednesday morning and stayed there for 12 hours before we all could get tickets to fly home and before our flights left. Christopher and Emily (long story short) had a nightmare-ish time changing their tickets and kept hitting brick walls all day long. Christopher worked on changing their tickets from the time we arrived in Kenya up until one hour before their plane departed (26 solid hours or arguing with airlines with no breaks in between to sleep or eat.)  


Two weeks from the day we decided to leave and come home, 2 canceled flights, 1 helicopter ride, 5 plane rides, and 44 solid hours of airports and airplanes from Kenya to Texas (58 hrs total) LATER, I FINALLY MADE IT HOME. I give ALL glory to God because I have seen so many miracles on this trip and trying to get home. So many things that happened, could have only happened because of God's grace. I see God's hand and how He worked and moved among us to protect us, guide us, and arrange so that we could come home. I have soured home on the wings of God and under his pinions as he protected us. 


I am so so so grateful and blessed beyond words for your prayers, petitions, and intercession on the behalf of me, Chris, Emily, Makayla, my family and Sudan. My whole family is blessed by all that you guys have done to support us in this trip and especially at the end of this trip of trying to evacuate. 

Half-Way point

We are now half way through our lecture phase of the DTS; and I am also at the half-way point of my trip here. Time has really flown by. Looking back and evaluating the progress of our students, I feel blessed and rewarded that I can be apart of the growth that I see. God is working in their hearts and they have grown so much. I really wonder what big plans God has for these 7 students. Will they remain in YWAM and grow to be directors in YWAM? Will they start their own organizations? Will they impact the sphere of business? I don’t know how, but I know God is going to use them so powerfully.

WEEK 5- RELATIONSHIPS

For week 5 with the topic of relationships, we had a guest speaker from Nigeria. This speaker was truly a blessing and not only instructed well, he modeled good relationship and love for others. After this week, we could really see our students going out of thier way to try and be a good friend, serve others, pray for others, and put other’s needs before their own. Our students have really been growing in servant-hood and selflessness. They are really growing together as a family. It is such a blessing to see this and I know that through this godly character, God’s power and love is going to be released through them to others when they go on outreach in 6 weeks.

WEEK 6- SIN, REPENTANCE, & RESTITUTION

This week, we have had a guest speaker from Uganda. Even I have been learning from him and have really been gleaning on the words of wisdom he has been speaking. It is amazing to me at how much these teachings impact the students. One student shared at the end, “For me, I didn’t really know much about the topic of sin or what true repentance was, but you have taught us and now I have been enlightened”. We hear comments like this over and over again. I continue to hear (in response from my teaching on hearing the voice of God) “I didn’t even know that people COULD hear the voice of God until you taught us that week and now I can hear God and recognize it is God”.

It is really rewarding to see God working in these students. I know that as God works in them, they will go on to impact their community, their town, and their country. This first DTS is the first fruits of the base here, and I know God is going to use these 7 students for such big things. This week, I have been reminded that we are not only touching the lives of 7 individuals, but through them, we are touching this nation (God in us of course).

LOCAL OUTREACH

There is a refugee camp just a 5 minute walk from our door step. As a school, we have begun going their for ministry. They have been kicked out of the North (which was their home), put on a train, and dumped here. They have nothing. They have no choice but to live in this large warehouse type building together with hundreds of others. It is a breeding ground for so many diseases as well as despair. But it is also such fertile ground for the hope and light of God. We have begun to go there and people have been so touched and blessed. We hold a church like service and then pray for the sick and crippled. We are still waiting to see God’s power released visibly, but I have faith that he will. 

THIS WEEK 

This week we are learning about leadership in our regular morning classes. I am also holding extra evening classes to teach, "How to study the bible" "How to prepare and present a teaching" and "How to give and receive evaluation of a teaching".  Please pray these go smoothly as the first two days I have hardly been able to hold class because of random complications.

ANSWERED PRAYERS

• Our speakers, and our guests from the U.S. arrived here safely and have departed and are on their way. They had a very long 12 hour bumpy ride and when they arrived, they were covered in sand. It looked like they had buckets of sand dumped on their head. But they made it safely, they got to go to unreached people groups, preach in churches and in refugee camps, as well as bless us all.
• God has provided miraculously. We had nearly run out of money for food (about 7 dollars to feed about 20 people for a few more days before more money would come). As we prayed for provision, God has brought it. We have now stock piled on the staple foods as they expect food prices to sky rocket or a food shortage to happen very soon.

PRAYER REQUESTS

• One of our speakers (the YWAM director for all of Sudan) has come here from the North. He planned to be here one week but it has now been 3 weeks and he has not been able to return to the North. Tension is growing between the North and South, the North bombed a few days ago and I heard that they expect to be in war again in May or war has been declared (not really sure on the news source). This is causing it to be difficult for him to go home and be reunited with his wife and kids who miss him. Pray that he would be able to return and be reunited with his family.
• Pray for us as we pray about where the students will go for outreach.
• Pray that we would all have renewed energy to finish the lecture phase. This is the middle point and this is the point where things could go down hill, or excel. Pray the later would happen even though we are all getting tired. 
• PRAY FOR PEACE IN SUDAN! Sudan has been in war for 50 years (before they were even the country of Sudan and independent from Egypt and British rule. They have declared war again and three stated have already been bombed. Please pray for peace.

God is close to the brokenhearted

 

HUMOROUS HAPPENINGS:

When we make the 10 minute walk to and from home and the classroom, the children (and adults) yell “Kawaga,  (which means white person) how are you?!” They say it over and over even if we answer back, they ask again. They also say,

“How are you, I’m fine thank you” (with out ANY pause).

“How are you my phlegm?” 

“Good morning teacher” (in the afternoon)

“How are you my father”

"What is my name"

“I’m fine” (with out us asking or saying hello).

It is obvious that they have NO idea what any of the phrases mean. Yesterday, as I was walking, a boy wandered out of his hut then saw me, his face lit up and he slammed open the door and yelled INSIDE “How are you?! How are you?! How are you?! How are you?!” It was then that I realized that they have come to understand that the phrase, “How are you?” is OUR NAME or who we are. We are the “How are yous?!”

There is a slight rat infestation in our house, and their favorite place at night is my bed. Luckily, after 1 week, I have gotten a bed frame (which I am spoiled to have). I have discovered that these rats are catching cockroaches from the latrine, bringing them into my room, and chomping on them under my bed at night.   

WEEK 3- FATHER HEART OF GOD, FORGIVENESS, & INNER HEALING

God is teaching us all as staff to be very flexible with what God wants to do with us. On the Friday before week 3 began, we learned that our speaker would not make it so we quickly prepared to substitute teach for this topic. This week is always a pivotal point in every DTS so we were really praying that God would minister to the students because we could not prepare adequately in our own strength. God was faithful to minister to the students and share the love of God. Many of these students do not have a good father (or father at all) and families have been left broken because of the war. Through these three topics, God ministered to all the students. I am so proud of how far they have come. They have been hurt so badly and had such traumatic experiences, but many have chosen to forgive people in their life that have hurt them. I can’t help but be inspired my them and their ability to forgive when God touches their hearts with His love. It is true that God is near the brokenhearted and heals them. God is so good!

WEEK 4- HOLY SPIRIT & WORSHIP

This week, our students seem to really be grasping what is being taught. I would say that this week, we are noticing the most growth in the students. They were slow to open up the past few weeks, but there is so much more interaction in class and understanding. Through discussion, I can really tell that they are discovering that worship is not just singing songs, but worship is what comes out of the heart. Also, as we keep repeating and enforcing the truths taught the previous weeks, they are also beginning to really understand and take them to heart.

CLASS-ROOM CHALLENGES

A challenge that we have that we realize more and more is language. Most of the time, we teach in English and it is translated into Arabic. The problem is, there are several different dialects of Arabic. The Arabic that our translator speaks is “Classical Arabic” which is the equivalent of Shakespeare for English speakers. Now, if you think that is bad enough, Arabic is the second language of the students so they are not fully fluent in it and they speak different dialects. On top of that, the translator misses words in English and can not catch all of what we say. So, by the time the message gets to the students, they really can not understand most of what is taught. We have just realized how big a problem this is. We were thinking that the students were just very slow, but in reality, we are speaking in all foreign languages and expect them to understand and answer questions.

PRAYER REQUESTS:

• Continue to pray for unity between us as staff. The devil is really trying to tear us apart as a school and is bringing discouragement, frustration, and apathy.
• Pray for our students with the challenge of Arabic. Pray we could find another good translator so that language is no longer a barrier in their learning.
• Pray for provision. Money for food as well as materials so that we can build on our property. Also pray that we could find the right people that can give us the materials that we need at an affordable price. Also transport to get materials out to the property (as it is very very difficult).

Hearing the Voice of God

TRAVEL:

It never ceases to amaze me how faithful my God is. Now that I am safely in South Sudan, I look back on my fears to travel here and laugh. God has always been so good to me to take care of my every need. Travel was fine even getting to and from the airport and to a hotel in Kenya. Kenya, although I was nervous about it, turned out to be quite a blessing. As my Kenya to Sudan flight took off and we rose above the clouds and I looked out and saw Mount Kilimanjaro also rising above the clouds. As  the clouds cleared, I could tell exactly where the Kenya/Sudan border was, the paved roads turned to sand, and the steel roofs that I saw turned to grass. There were also many fires that I saw as smoke billowed into the sky. When my plane landed, I saw a mushroom cloud of black smoke maybe 1 mile away. I walked into the airport that looked like the Alamo and got my visa, went through immigration, baggage claim, and immigration all in a room that was about 20 feet by 15 feet. I met up with Emily and Christopher (sister-in-law and brother) and traveled the rest of the journey to Wau the following day. I fulfilled every missionaries pioneer dream of landing on a dirt strip (after possibly the worst flight of my life, the pilot could have flown better drunk).

FIRST WEEK AND TEACHING: 

Now I am in Wau and have been here for 1 week. I taught Bible overview to show God's restoration of His relationship with man. Tuesday and Wednesday, I also taught how to hear the voice of God. I had prepared my notes on how to hear the voice of God and was almost prepared when God spoke so powerfully not to touch my notes. After I even felt nauseous as i was preparing, I realized that it was God speaking. So I put my notes down and prayed. God spoke so much to me personally about hearing his voice and called me to teach the next day with out any preparation or notes. So i continued to pray for hours and even felt God called me to fast water for about 4 hours (which is a huge deal when it is about 110 or more). After hours of intercession, the next morning I went  to teach and waited for God to give me the words. He had me remain silent in front of the class for 30 min solid which was awkward for everybody at first but God really used it. Time and space in this blog will not permit me to go into detail about how the teachings went, but every word that I taught was from God's mouth and spoken by the power of the Holy Spirit, I am sure of that. The students have really grasped these teachings and God used me as a tool to teach from what God had been teaching me through this experience that I had with God. It wasn't just a text book formulas to hear God's voice, but God teaching me by experience and speaking to me personally about how to hear His voice and wait on God. So, in short, it was powerful and as I was faithful and obedient to obey what God had told me to do (no matter how silly I looked) God used it and was faithful to teach. This just reminded me of what  I had learned in Uganda that he does not call the qualified but he qualifies the called and that when we are obedient to him, he is faithful to use us by the power of the Holy Spirit.

*I tried to add pictures to this blog but after 2 hours and it only loading half way, i decided it will not be practical to post pictures.

ANSWERED PRAYERS:

Thank you for all of your prayers. It is so nice that from blog to blog we can see all of them answered.

• We have gotten our house back so we are no longer living in tents. It is a very long story and personally, Chris, Emily, and I would think it would have been better if we were not in the house, but that is not how things ended up working out. So we are in a house but it still lacks running water and electricity. 
• I arrived safely 
• God spoke through me and used me in my teaching. I did not even have jet lag at all. (This is very unusual for me and is most definitely an answered prayer).

PRAYER REQUESTS:

• Pray that our staff would be unified. We are people from 3 very different cultures and some times this can cause issues. This is very essential that we are of one mind. 
• It appears that most of our speakers will be unable to come so it is leaving all of the teaching to us (and some staff is not willing to teach). Pray for grace that we can teach effectively and do not get burnt out (teaching can be exhausting when the days are full). Pray that our scheduled speakers WILL be able to come. 
• This next week in class, we are teaching father heart of God, forgiveness, and inner healing. This is usually a week that is a big breakthrough of strongholds and emotional stuff. You could imagine how important this week would be in a culture that fathers are not involved with kids, and betrayal or emotional hardships are common. Pray God would work on the hearts of the students, they would let go, heal, and forgive, and discover God's heart for them. 

And the Journey Begins!

My bags are packed, my passport is waiting to be stamped, and peace and excitement is in my heart. I am about to embark on this adventure with God. I have no idea what these next three months will hold, but I know God has big plans!

Some people tell me not to go to South Sudan because it is too dangerous. This is true, there are dangers, but aren’t there dangers everyday no matter where we live? Our lives are in the hands of a sovereign God, our days are numbered already, and His will is the best place to be. This is where God has called me, who am I to disobey or ignore the call of God. These things are so easy to forget when we live lives with such security and comfort (although false). However, the past month and a half as God has prepped me for this, He has taught me that He is my comfort and he is my security. This is the meaning of His shepherds rod and staff. My world as I know it is about to end as I land on that dirt strip and step into another world (trust me Africa is a different place), I am traveling alone on this trip, and I, more than ever, have had to learn to trust God to protect me and give me grace. Yes, I was scared at first. I was nervous because I know this next season will be very difficult. Not only will pioneering, teaching, serving, living in tents/mud huts 10 miles out of town be hard, but we have already faced SO MANY spiritual attacks in our mind and circumstances. There is also the aspect of going into a “war zone” (technically the war has ended but there is still so much violence and crisis’s happening). There is so much potential for something to go wrong. But God has taught me to surrender my life into His hands, to trust Him for protection, food, shelter and my everything. I don’t need to worry about the worst case scenario or worry about tomorrow because he cares for me. He has spoken promises to me of eternal kingdom rewards if I walk by faith in obedience to his call, and he has reminded me of his power that He has given me. God has given me so much peace and confidence to go to South Sudan. I know it will be very challenging, but what is life without dependence on God?

I am very excited to be going to South Sudan. I know that where there is opportunity with God, there is opposition from the enemy. But Praise God! My God is bigger and the captives will be set free, minds renewed, and lives transformed. I am excited to see all that God is going to do and I am so blessed to be called by God to be apart of it.

*Note: I am not confident I will have reliable/constant internet considering we don't have electricity or running water and are a 10 mile walk from town. I will do my very best to keep updates and communication with the outside world going so that you lovely people know how things are going and know how to pray and praise God.   

PRAYER NEEDS:

• Saturday night, our YWAM community became homeless. We originally were going to rent 3 small houses for staff and students to sleep as well as have classes. The land lord has changed his mind about us staying there and we have been forced to find a new place to stay. We have now moved to a location (sort of a village) 10 miles out of town (walking). We will now be staying in small tents or mud huts. To give you a better idea, we have no electricity and the nearest source of water is a 10 min walk away to the pond. Pray for grace in this location and guidance if we are suppose to stay here the 3 months or try and find another place in town. 

*This is a picture of my tent/home I will be sleeping in for the next 3 months. 6X2 feet floor space!

• Please pray for travel mercies for me as I travel alone. I have attained peace from God and have surrendered my worries. But I still prefer to be safe and have smooth travels. (I have a 13 hour overnight layover in Kenya where I plan to leave the airport and sleep at a hotel. I will meet Emily and Chris in the capitol of S. Sudan to get my 6^th flight to Wau. Travel will take 5-6 days.)
• On March 1^st, I found out that I will be teaching the day after I arrive in Wau, South Sudan for 3 days. Sense I have been busy with packing type things and visiting my sister who just returned from Nepal (haven’t seen her for over 1 year) I have not had adequate time to prepare as much as I would like. Pray God would speak through me even though I do not know what I am going to say. Pray that I will not be jet lagged as I teach and that I will find some time to prepare and I could be productive when I do prepare.
• Pray for grace and unity in our staff. We are 9 people from different backgrounds cultures and countries trying to work together as one body. Pray that we can learn how to serve each other, Christ would be our head, and we could make wise decisions.